A SOCIAL OUTCAST
It was a Monday morning, and as usual, she had reached school a lot earlier than required. She walked gingerly through the fields, admiring the dew on leaves and the fog that still clouded the grey sky. Only a few students were there, mostly, the ones who were on the soccer or basketball teams. However, she was early because she did not want to come in contact with anyone she knew. Coming school early would save her from necessary awkward greetings, else, people will think of her as an arrogant uptight girl who thought is too good for this world. Strange it is, but that’s how it has always been like, for her. She never liked talking to anyone outside the class, she always hid if she came across anyone she knew from school. It was not because she was arrogant or thought of herself superior to everyone else, but, she was just too scared to talk. Her eyes fixated on her phone and earphones blasting loud music, this was how she blocked everyone; trying to keep herself safe from the world.
She was like a mystery, a puzzle that you think you have almost solved until you will find another million pieces needed to be sorted out. She wanted to wear short sparkly clothes on a Saturday night, party hard, get drunk and do stupid things; then, on Monday, she was trying to hide in the library in an all-black attire. Her few close ones were the most to get affected by her crazy personality, sometimes, she became too clingy so, other times, she acted like a bitch. She kept quiet during debates and discussions because she was afraid of what might come out of her mouth. Others thought that she was a dumb girl who does not know anything, little did they know, she was the smartest and the most experienced of them all. She was just trying to keep her emotions hidden. People never understood when she said that she had stage fright because they perceived her as an extrovert who was just too conceited to talk to them. She even stopped trying to make others understand the things she was going through because she was so confused about it herself. One second, she can be pretty mellow, the next she was bouncing off. Part of her pushed her to go out and make friends but the other part acts like a hermit and stays in bed all day.
She was battling with a problem unknown, trying to figure out what her heart wanted when her mind was trying to belittle her all the time. Her heart was crying in pain, she wanted to scream and tell everyone that she is still a little girl carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was the girl whose voice was seldom drowned out because she was not pretty and bold enough. Is it her fault if one moment she wants to socialize and the next moment, she wants to read a book quietly in her cocoon? It is a high time to acknowledge that it is a serious problem that a large number of population dealing with. Psychology tests can never be accurate, and so far, 38 percent of us are considered to be the ambivert, according to Robert R. McCrae, that was mentioned in HuffPost.
Ambivert is the one with both introvert and extrovert personality, trying to fit in the world, which is too busy to give a damn about others. Introverts are often misjudged as anti-social, selfish creatures because they selectively socialize and spend a lot of time alone. Extroverts are known as the life of a party, who is full of energy and have charming personalities. Introversion and extroversion are like the two ends of the personality spectrum, and ambiverts fall in the middle of it. Ambivert is an ignored and forgotten personality and she was the perfect example of it. She is struggling daily to find a balance between her nuanced personality and not to go crazy handling herself and the others. It is like a mental disease that is not talked about and oblivious people make fun of them and call them drama feeders. It is totally insane to upset someone who is already tired of their life.
I will leave you with a question here, Is it her mistake that she is born with an ambivert personality?7